This was a piece of group writing that I wrote last week and this week.
WALHT: Plan our writing using a flow diagram.
Once upon, a medieval time, a pale, obese, exhausted man was standing at the side of a castle courtyard on this fine day, with plenty of drums, trumpets and cymbals on, or hanging from him very still.
This is no ordinary man. No sir. He was a one man band. Standing there, his feet as still as a dead fly, while the rest of his body was moving like a group of restless children, with all of the instruments he had to play. Why was he doing this? Getting tired for nothing? Of course he wasn’t doing this for nothing. He was a busker, playing this wonderful music to earn an income. To collect the money: a metal mug.
After about 5 minutes, given up on playing music, he sees her walking slowly into the courtyard. Who’s this ‘her’ I’m telling you about? This very short, little girl wearing a ‘purple riding hood’ is walking towards the fountain in the middle of the courtyard with a coin in her hand. A schilling I think it was. But then, amazed by the sound of the fantastic melody that had just started ringing in her ears, she turns to the busker and sees the stone cold metal mug sitting there, lonely without a coin to keep it company.
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What an excellent piece Mitchell. You have captured the auidence with your use of adjectives to describe the character and the setting. I can't wait to see you use similes to add more detail for the reader.
ReplyDeleteCool Piece Of Writing!!!
ReplyDeleteI could picture the setting in my head.
One Thing you could work on is using similes in your piece of writing.